So I had a fun weekend.  It all started on Friday night as I was finishing up articles and playing with the baby.  Out of nowhere my eyes started to tunnel and I lost 99% of my vision for about 3 minutes.  Needless to say I panicked and called my sister (who is a nurse) to tell her I was having a stroke.

All I kept thinking was Oh my god, I’m gonna collapse and die and my baby will be alone here in the house!  It was scary to say the least.

So anyway, my nurse sister made me take an aspirin and told me to get my butt over to the ER.  I then called my husband in a tizzy at work and told him to get home and take me to the hospital (thank God he’s calm by nature lol).

Waste of Time Visit Number One

We got to the local emergency room in Voorhees and because I clearly wasn’t dying, we were forced to sit in the waiting room for 5 hours before they called us back.  So Joe and I watched Wife Swap and then Super Nanny and made fun of the other people in the ER in a sad attempt to pass the time.

Eventually they called me back and started running tests to see what the heck happened to me.  They did a CT scan to rule out a stroke (which thank god came back clear), but they were stuck on my prior medical history of meningitis and optic neuritis that I had  when I was 10.

I actually got meningitis after spending the day at a local water park (Dorney Park near Hersey PA to be exact) and the virus attacked the optic nerve behind my eyes.  I went completely blind for 7 months and was told I would never see again (but they didn’t know we believe in miracles and my eyesight did end up coming back much to their surprise).

I digress.  Anyway, they asked me if I had ever been treated for MS and explained that MS tends to strike within 15 years of optic neuritis. (Now mind you, I was officially panicking at this point).  But unfortunately, the neurologist was gone for the night so they sent me home and told me to follow up with an MRI first thing Monday morning.

More Strange Symptoms

We got home from our excursion at 3 am and literally crashed from exhaustion and ER boredom.  BUT, when I woke up the next day around noon my body was completely stiff.  I felt like I had 2×4’s inside my forearms and calves and I could barely hold a cup of coffee.  My hands were also asleep and stayed that way for a good 6 hours.

So again, trying to be logical, I assumed it was a side effect of the steroid shot they gave me the night before.  But when I called the ER to let them know what I was experiencing, they told me to come back in because that was definitely not a side effect and I needed to be seen.

Officially panicking again.

I then called my mom and she decided she didn’t want to play around with these doctors anymore and got a hold of the neurologists at the University of Pennsylvania that used to treat me as a child.  They also wanted to see me personally so I had to take another trip back into the city yesterday afternoon to get checked out.

Party in the Ghheeettttoooooooo

OMG it was crackhead night in the wonderful city of Philadelphia.  We were actually sitting in the waiting room and this lady comes strolling in off the streets.  She’s loud as can be and says “I just had a heart attack not too long ago and I’m having some pain and I think I need some pain meds and I don’t want to wait”.  I’m not sure what the lady behind the desk said, but all of a sudden cracklady starts screaming “Don’t make me get out this chair and beat you with my bag!  Don’t make me kill you…..oh you don’t know who I am….don’t make me kill you!”

Within a few seconds security came over and separated her across the room and threatened to throw her out.  So she announced to the waiting room that she’ll calm down but she’ll kill that woman if she keeps running her mouth.

OMG was I dying!  But wait, it gets better (and I will eventually get into what they said was wrong with me).

So I end up in the overflow bed in the hallway and crackhead lady is in the room directly across from me.  She’s slurring her words and SCREAMING at the nurses that she’s having a heart attack and needs something for the pain….preferably percocet.  So the nurse nicely says that they are going to give her morphine and something else incase its a heart attack and she starts freaking out again that morphine doesn’t work for her and she needs percocet.

So in the meantime, they told her to put on a gown so they could do an EKG.  So big fat crackhead lady gets BUTT NAKED and walks out to the main nursing station to ask the security guard to help her tie her gown.  Meanwhile she is tripping over the EKG wires and carrying on about her pain meds.

Then crackhead lady starts screaming that her “room ain’t clean” and wants someone to give her a broom because she shouldn’t have to sit in this filth. Well no one brought her a broom so she starts sweeping the hospital floors with her bare feet!  She was literally making piles of crap and kicking it into the hallway.

Then crackhead lady makes an announcement to me that they left a cup of urine in her room and she’s putting it in the hall.  I just smiled and tried my hardest not to laugh in her face.

Two minutes later the nurse asks her for a urine test.  They sent someone in to ask her if she was using crack and she went BIZERK.  In her best indoor voice possible (note my sarcasm) explained that she “don’t do crack, and maybe she’s done some cocaine before, but she’s had a hard life and WHY YOU ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS ANYWAY! IM SICK OF THIS– JUST GIVE ME MY PAIN MEDS!!”

Then I could tell crackhead lady got a bright idea.  She took the pee cup, looked at me, ran out into the hallway and grabbed the other pee cup while giggling and whispering to me that “she’s clever”.

I was laughing so hard and really didn’t know whether or not to tell her nurse that she just stole someones pee, but i figured she would stab me so I just kept my mouth shut.

But even before they could test her pee, the nurse gave in and gave her some meds to shut her up.  Literally within 10 minutes of getting her fix, she got on the hosptial phone and called everyone she knew while folding the 20 blankets that the stole from the cart– just like she was chillin out in her own living room!

It was seriously the funniest thing in the world.

My diagnosis

Now that I just went on a complete bunny trail about crackhead lady, I should probably get back to whats wrong with me.  Apparently I still have to go in for an MRI to rule out MS (the techs were gone by this point), but the neurologist thinks I am having “acephalgic migraines” or “migraine aura without pain”.  Basically its a migrant that attacks your vision and other body parts but doesn’t cause the traditional head pain.

I almost thought she was joking at first.  I have never in all of my life heard of a migraine without a headache!  I thought a migraine was a headache.  But lo and behold, its a real neurological condition and can cause you to lose your vision anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.

Super huh?

But like I said, I still have to get a few more tests done before they fell comfortable with that diagnosis.  So I’ll keep ya’ll posted.

But in the meantime, if you’ve ever head of silent migranes or get them yourself, chime in!  I’d like to hear if you also swore you were having a stroke

Sheesh.  I need a vacation already.

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