It’s been a long time since I posted here.

So much has happened over the past year since I was first trying my hand out in the “mommy blogger” world.  I then got so busy blogging everywhere else that I neglected my home.

It was also two years ago last week that my husband’s business partner was in a catastrophic car accident– a day that certainly changed our lives forever.

He was paralyzed shortly after taking out loans on the company’s PAID OFF equipment to float debt from the bad housing market (people stopped needing trees removed when the subprime mortgage crisis hit) and also to cover the debt he racked up while going through his messy divorce.

We were left with the debt ($75,000 of it) and no viable way to pay it off.

I was 9 months pregnant and collecting a tiny check on maternity leave from the state, my husband ran the operations of the company– but he can’t sell to save his life, so keeping the business was out too.

Eventually we were forced into personal bankruptcy.  In fact we just went to court last week.  It’s been a huge mountain of pressure on my chest for six months now and i’m happy to say it’s almost behind us.

But this time two years ago, his partner asked to borrow our car to go where he was going that day.

He was taking his son to the doctors for a check up and didn’t think his big truck could fit in the parking garage.

He’d also been medicating himself at that time because of the divorce and something in me felt very uncomfortable giving him my car.   I remember feeling so strongly that my husband and I got into a huge fight about it that morning.

Because I wear the pants (kidding), my husband told him no and his partner eventually talked his ex-wife into giving him her car– which he destroyed later that day when he got distracted and did something dumb (I dont want to post deets w/ a lawsuit going down).

Now two years later (exactly one day before the statute of limitations was set to run out), the other driver sued Joe’s partner and his ex-wife as the owner of the car for her “pain and suffering” (she wasn’t hurt but she did find out she was pregnant at the time of the accident and I think had rough labor….maybe? But all was OK in the end)

Anyway, that could have been my car.  That could have been me named in this lawsuit (b/c the insurance is in my name)– on top of everything else we’ve had to go through this year.

And quite frankly, i’m not sure I could have handled it.

This year has just been so incredibly hard personally, financially, emotionally and spiritually.   Thankful we’re starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

As many people know, I work with lawyers. I’m quite fed up this past week watching many of them be unnecessarily nasty, gripe about nonsense, pick fights with people in list servs, blogs, whatever.    Shoot, i’ve even gotten a taste of the poison– and i just think wow, it’s so hard to be THAT miserable when you’ve come through what I have.

When you’ve bootstraped yourself up from the point of ruin, you don’t have time to sit online and gripe all day.  You live for each moment and do your best with what you can.  No time to sweat the small stuff.

So before I start name calling and stabbing people, it’s good to be back here.  Moral of the story– listen to your gut, trust your intuition and quit getting bent out of shape over nonsense.  Life is way to short to do otherwise.

Comments 350 Comments »

I’m not a big fan of today’s modern “prophets,” but when David Wilkerson speaks, most people listen.

This is, after all, the same man that shut down every single service at his NYC church 3 weeks before the 9/11 attacks because “something horrible was about to happen and the church needed to pray”.

So with that introduction, David Wilkerson has posted an urgent warning on his website that really struck a nerve in me when I read it a few weeks back.

Actually, for about a month now, something on the inside of me has been saying to store a few bags of rice, bottled water and other non-perishable foods “just to be safe”.

And really, even if Pastor Wilkerson is dead wrong with the urgent warning that I’m about to post below, it’s still a good idea to have reserves around the house– especially in these scary economic times.

So without further adieu, here is the entire warning as posted on David Wilkerson’s site.  I challenge you to look this guy up and see just how right on he’s been in the past with these kinda things.  Might actually freak you out a bit.

An Urgent Message

An Earth-Shattering Calamity Is About To Happen

by David Wilkerson | March 7, 2009

March 7, 2009

I am compelled by the Holy Spirit to send out an urgent message to all on our mailing list, and to friends and to bishops we have met all over the world.


For ten years I have been warning about a thousand fires coming to New York City. It will engulf the whole megaplex, including areas of New Jersey and Connecticut. Major cities all across America will experience riots and blazing fires — such as we saw in Watts, Los Angeles, years ago.

There will be riots and fires in cities worldwide. There will be looting — including Times Square, New York City. What we are experiencing now is not a recession, not even a depression. We are under God’s wrath. In Psalm 11 it is written,

“If the foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” (v. 3).

God is judging the raging sins of America and the nations. He is destroying the secular foundations.

The prophet Jeremiah pleaded with wicked Israel, “God is fashioning a calamity against you and devising a plan against you. Oh, turn back each of you from your evil way, and reform your ways and deeds. But they will say, It’s hopeless! For we are going to follow our own plans, and each of us will act according to the stubbornness of his evil heart” (Jeremiah 18:11–12).

In Psalm 11:6, David warns, “Upon the wicked he will rain snares (coals of fire)…fire…burning wind…will be the portion of their cup.” Why? David answered, “Because the Lord is righteous” (v. 7). This is a righteous judgment — just as in the judgments of Sodom and in Noah’s generation.


First, I give you a practical word I received for my own direction. If possible lay in store a thirty-day supply of non-perishable food, toiletries and other essentials. In major cities, grocery stores are emptied in an hour at the sign of an impending disaster.

As for our spiritual reaction, we have but two options. This is outlined in Psalm 11. We “flee like a bird to a mountain.” Or, as David says, “He fixed his eyes on the Lord on his throne in heaven — his eyes beholding, his eyelids testing the sons of men” (v. 4). “In the Lord I take refuge” (v. 1).

I will say to my soul: No need to run…no need to hide. This is God’s righteous work. I will behold our Lord on his throne, with his eye of tender, loving kindness watching over every step I take — trusting that he will deliver his people even through floods, fires, calamities, tests, trials of all kinds.

Note: I do not know when these things will come to pass, but I know it is not far off. I have unburdened my soul to you. Do with the message as you choose.

God bless and keep you.

In Christ,

DW:bbm 3.7.09

Photo courtesy of Flickr Creative Commons artist Rosemary McKevitt

Comments 313 Comments »

It’s bad enough that most of our tech and customer service jobs wind up in India in a sad attempt to cut out the “overpriced” American worker.

But now our MEDICAL PATIENTS are flocking to India, thanks to the greedy health care providers that won’t meet their needs here at home.

CNN featured a story today about global patients, or patients that travel abroad because they can get cheaper (and arguably better) treatment than they would in the US.

One such story in the article featured a woman that didn’t have insurance but needed a relatively simple heart procedure to save her life.  She was ultimately  quoted $175,000 for the procedure– which the doctors knew was totally out of her budget.

Yet because she needed the procedure to save her life, the woman ended up traveling to India and having the entire procedure done (including travel expenses) for under $10,000.

That’s a huge difference and really quite sad that American people would have to take their medical “business” to India because of the greed and corruption here in the US.

The story also reminded me of Michael Moore’s latest movie “Sicko” (and whether you love him or hate– this movie is a MUST SEE), where 9/11 victims traveled to Mexico to get the lung treatments they couldn’t afford in the US.

The whole situation is just totally unconscionable to me.

Number one, we are in the middle of a recession.  We can’t afford any more American dollars going overseas.

And number two, I can’t understand how these health care executives sleep at night.  When did we get so concerned about turning a profit that we started to justify HUMAN BEINGS suffering like that?

Listen to the mentality of the Indian doctor featured in this story:

“We [surgeons in India] want to make a profit, but we don’t want to profiteer. We don’t want squeeze people and I think American industries should also think that way,” Jha said.

I agree with this doctor 100%.  Especially when someone’s life is at stake.

And maybe, just maybe if all Americans adopted this philosophy, we wouldn’t be in the big, greed created mess that we are today.

Photo courtesy of Flickr creative commons author Tourist_on_Earth

Comments 241 Comments »

Don’t laugh, I’m totally serious.

Every day this week news outlets have featured stories about the dangerous Mexican cartels moving deeper into the United States thanks to our “insatiable lust for drugs and crime“.

It’s apparently gotten so bad that Sec. of State Clinton had to visit Mexico today to discuss providing more helicopters and greater resources to fight this “war on drugs”.

You know– because we have extra money just lying around to help Mexico contain their criminals.

Anyway, I would just like to know at what point does LOGIC leave a politicians mind?  Before they get to Washington? The minute they’re sworn in on congress?

I’d really like to know because any person in their right mind can see that the only way to stop this “war on drugs” is to make them legal, thus making the black market powerless to operate.

Think about prohibition.  Think about the gangs and the crime and the violence that sparked up when alcohol was banned in the twenties. Then think about how most of that illegal activity came to a screeching halt once the criminals were put out of business by legitimate liquor stores.

I think the same should hold true with drugs– or marijuana at the very least.

If we let people buy weed like they do cigarettes (with proper ID of course), then people wouldn’t need to visit the drug smugglers or local dealers. They will essentially be out of business overnight.

Add to the fact that the government can tax the products AND create jobs in this horrible economy by letting people work in the fields picking pot 😉

In all seriousness though, I am much less scared of a person getting behind the wheel of their car after smoking a joint than I am someone drunk out of their mind.

As are most people i’ve come to find out.

The only legitimate arguments people make against legalizing marijuana or other drugs is that “weed leads to other things” and “legalization encourages the habit”.

Well first let me address pot use leading to hardcore drugs.  I don’t think I necessarily agree with that– and I really think its the black market environment that leads to further drug use.

For example, a teen goes to a dealer for some weed.  After a few months of buying, the dealer (looking to hook the kid further), says “hey– wanna really get high?  Try some crack”.

But if you cut the dealer out, the option of buying crack is no longer in the person’s face.

And second of all, just because we “legalize” drugs, doesn’t mean we “endorse” them and that there will not be restrictions. Think about alcohol.  You have to be a certain age to buy, if you get caught driving while intoxicated you get a DUI or possibly jail time and people are still educated on how alcohol use can be bad for you.

The same should hold true for drugs.  Yes, they should be legal to cut off the black market, but they should also come with serious restrictions that severely discourage their use in everyday situations.

So that’s my thoughts on all this Mexican drug cartel nonsense.

Not that it matters because I’m convinced the politicians have their hand in black market money that that’s why no one has stepped up to push legalization through the House or Senate (because really, its not a brainiac idea).

And if you still think im totally off the wall crazy– here is an article from a economic lecturer from Harvard explaining how prohibition is hurting our national security and economy.

And a video from Larry King Live with Ron Paul speaking on the subject.

I’m totally ready to legalize drugs and be done with unnecessary violence once and for all. How about you?

Comments 340 Comments »

So I had a fun weekend.  It all started on Friday night as I was finishing up articles and playing with the baby.  Out of nowhere my eyes started to tunnel and I lost 99% of my vision for about 3 minutes.  Needless to say I panicked and called my sister (who is a nurse) to tell her I was having a stroke.

All I kept thinking was Oh my god, I’m gonna collapse and die and my baby will be alone here in the house!  It was scary to say the least.

So anyway, my nurse sister made me take an aspirin and told me to get my butt over to the ER.  I then called my husband in a tizzy at work and told him to get home and take me to the hospital (thank God he’s calm by nature lol).

Waste of Time Visit Number One

We got to the local emergency room in Voorhees and because I clearly wasn’t dying, we were forced to sit in the waiting room for 5 hours before they called us back.  So Joe and I watched Wife Swap and then Super Nanny and made fun of the other people in the ER in a sad attempt to pass the time.

Eventually they called me back and started running tests to see what the heck happened to me.  They did a CT scan to rule out a stroke (which thank god came back clear), but they were stuck on my prior medical history of meningitis and optic neuritis that I had  when I was 10.

I actually got meningitis after spending the day at a local water park (Dorney Park near Hersey PA to be exact) and the virus attacked the optic nerve behind my eyes.  I went completely blind for 7 months and was told I would never see again (but they didn’t know we believe in miracles and my eyesight did end up coming back much to their surprise).

I digress.  Anyway, they asked me if I had ever been treated for MS and explained that MS tends to strike within 15 years of optic neuritis. (Now mind you, I was officially panicking at this point).  But unfortunately, the neurologist was gone for the night so they sent me home and told me to follow up with an MRI first thing Monday morning.

More Strange Symptoms

We got home from our excursion at 3 am and literally crashed from exhaustion and ER boredom.  BUT, when I woke up the next day around noon my body was completely stiff.  I felt like I had 2×4’s inside my forearms and calves and I could barely hold a cup of coffee.  My hands were also asleep and stayed that way for a good 6 hours.

So again, trying to be logical, I assumed it was a side effect of the steroid shot they gave me the night before.  But when I called the ER to let them know what I was experiencing, they told me to come back in because that was definitely not a side effect and I needed to be seen.

Officially panicking again.

I then called my mom and she decided she didn’t want to play around with these doctors anymore and got a hold of the neurologists at the University of Pennsylvania that used to treat me as a child.  They also wanted to see me personally so I had to take another trip back into the city yesterday afternoon to get checked out.

Party in the Ghheeettttoooooooo

OMG it was crackhead night in the wonderful city of Philadelphia.  We were actually sitting in the waiting room and this lady comes strolling in off the streets.  She’s loud as can be and says “I just had a heart attack not too long ago and I’m having some pain and I think I need some pain meds and I don’t want to wait”.  I’m not sure what the lady behind the desk said, but all of a sudden cracklady starts screaming “Don’t make me get out this chair and beat you with my bag!  Don’t make me kill you…..oh you don’t know who I am….don’t make me kill you!”

Within a few seconds security came over and separated her across the room and threatened to throw her out.  So she announced to the waiting room that she’ll calm down but she’ll kill that woman if she keeps running her mouth.

OMG was I dying!  But wait, it gets better (and I will eventually get into what they said was wrong with me).

So I end up in the overflow bed in the hallway and crackhead lady is in the room directly across from me.  She’s slurring her words and SCREAMING at the nurses that she’s having a heart attack and needs something for the pain….preferably percocet.  So the nurse nicely says that they are going to give her morphine and something else incase its a heart attack and she starts freaking out again that morphine doesn’t work for her and she needs percocet.

So in the meantime, they told her to put on a gown so they could do an EKG.  So big fat crackhead lady gets BUTT NAKED and walks out to the main nursing station to ask the security guard to help her tie her gown.  Meanwhile she is tripping over the EKG wires and carrying on about her pain meds.

Then crackhead lady starts screaming that her “room ain’t clean” and wants someone to give her a broom because she shouldn’t have to sit in this filth. Well no one brought her a broom so she starts sweeping the hospital floors with her bare feet!  She was literally making piles of crap and kicking it into the hallway.

Then crackhead lady makes an announcement to me that they left a cup of urine in her room and she’s putting it in the hall.  I just smiled and tried my hardest not to laugh in her face.

Two minutes later the nurse asks her for a urine test.  They sent someone in to ask her if she was using crack and she went BIZERK.  In her best indoor voice possible (note my sarcasm) explained that she “don’t do crack, and maybe she’s done some cocaine before, but she’s had a hard life and WHY YOU ALL UP IN MY BUSINESS ANYWAY! IM SICK OF THIS– JUST GIVE ME MY PAIN MEDS!!”

Then I could tell crackhead lady got a bright idea.  She took the pee cup, looked at me, ran out into the hallway and grabbed the other pee cup while giggling and whispering to me that “she’s clever”.

I was laughing so hard and really didn’t know whether or not to tell her nurse that she just stole someones pee, but i figured she would stab me so I just kept my mouth shut.

But even before they could test her pee, the nurse gave in and gave her some meds to shut her up.  Literally within 10 minutes of getting her fix, she got on the hosptial phone and called everyone she knew while folding the 20 blankets that the stole from the cart– just like she was chillin out in her own living room!

It was seriously the funniest thing in the world.

My diagnosis

Now that I just went on a complete bunny trail about crackhead lady, I should probably get back to whats wrong with me.  Apparently I still have to go in for an MRI to rule out MS (the techs were gone by this point), but the neurologist thinks I am having “acephalgic migraines” or “migraine aura without pain”.  Basically its a migrant that attacks your vision and other body parts but doesn’t cause the traditional head pain.

I almost thought she was joking at first.  I have never in all of my life heard of a migraine without a headache!  I thought a migraine was a headache.  But lo and behold, its a real neurological condition and can cause you to lose your vision anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours.

Super huh?

But like I said, I still have to get a few more tests done before they fell comfortable with that diagnosis.  So I’ll keep ya’ll posted.

But in the meantime, if you’ve ever head of silent migranes or get them yourself, chime in!  I’d like to hear if you also swore you were having a stroke 😉

Sheesh.  I need a vacation already.

Comments 306 Comments »

The Washington Post released the following article today with SHOCKING information regarding the consequences of nurses spending their days around cleaning products.  Here’s a snippet from the article:

TUESDAY, Jan. 20 (HealthDay News) — Frequent exposure to hospital cleaning products and disinfectants greatly increases nurses’ risk of asthma, according to a U.S. study that included 3,650 Texan health care professionals, including 941 nurses.

The researchers found that nurses regularly exposed to cleaning products and disinfectants were 72 percent more likely than other health care colleagues to report being diagnosed with asthma since starting their job, and 57 percent more likely to report symptoms similar to asthma.

And the scary part is, the statistics for home cleaning products are probably the same– considering we spend most of our time shut in at home with poor ventilation. Sadly, federal law does not require the full disclosure (or subsequent testing) of chemicals in cleaning products, so parents will never know the FULL effects of what they are exposing their household to.

However, if the study listed above is any reflection of what these products can do, every parent would be well off to remove some of the more toxic stuff under the sink and switch to natural cleaners.

I’m not just saying this because I sell green cleaning products (which are 100% natural by the way, unlike some ‘green’ products on the shelf), but there is a real epidemic of asthma and allergies and autism that nobody can find a reason for, and I wouldn’t be surprised if exposure to toxic chemicals has something to do with it.

So when you’re ready to switch, you can get organic, natural cleaning products here, and come back and comment on the changes you immediately notice in your family (besides the fact that you save A TON of money because natural cleaners are concentrated and you only need 3 drops mixed w/ a bottle of water to get going).

And if you don’t believe me– google it 😉  You’ll be converted soon enough.  I was.

Comments 327 Comments »

I received the following email from a close friend whose client has emailed this experience below.  I don’t even have words for this, so I’ll just let you read it and form your own opinion:

Strap yourself in when you read this story and ask yourself, “Do I know any family that buys “The Works” toilet bowl cleaner from Sam’ Club.  They need to read this testimony.  One of my new builders, Corey Davis was at his BNI group in Kalamazoo, MI and was sharing about Get Clean’s remarkable products.  As the members went around taking their turns, Matthew Rizzo stood to give his 1 minute commercial about his CPA business and stopped and told everyone at the meeting that they really needed to listen to Corey and then shared this testimony.

Matthew L. Rizzo*, CPA, CFP®;  Managing Partner / Owner (Last name changed to protect privacy).

“…At the local Sam’s Club, my wife purchased a 4 pack, shrink wrapped, of “The Works” toilet bowl cleaner.  On the way home, in the back of our van, it tipped over, and some leaked out (about half a bottle) on the seat and the carpet because of a hole in the top of one of the bottles.  The seat, the carpet and the underlying steel were all damaged.  The final resolution: our insurance company totaled the van, because of the spill!  

According to the insurance company and poison control, the fumes from the toilet bowl cleaner made the interior environment of the van permanently unsafe for anyone, especially young children, so we wouldn’t be able to drive the van any more.  The fumes also corroded any exposed metal in the van and poison control warned over time would ruin most if not all electrical connections.  After the van was cleaned and repaired to the fullest extent possible, it was still determined that eventually, the residual fumes would continue to have a chemical reaction and deteriorate anything left in the van, leaving the van completely useless and unsafe, hence the insurance companies decision to total the vehicle was made.”
Now ask yourself, if the van was totaled because of the “fumes” why in the world are people cleaning their bathrooms with it weekly and breathing the fumes daily?

Quite disturbing huh?!  If you are using this particular product, STOP.  Seriously and switch to something natural (you can check out the products from the link above).  And we wonder why there are so many health conditions nowadays!  Scary.

*Note: The last name of the client was changed in this blog to protect his privacy.  If you want the information to conatct him re: his testimony, please email me at ambertardiff @

The entire Get Clean line mentioned above can be found here for those looking to ditch those toxic cleaners for good!

Comments 286 Comments »

If you follow me on Twitter or frequent my blog, you know October was a long month here in Jerseymomma land.

Shortly after loosing the baby, I had 3 monster panic attacks that left me home-bound for almost the entire month.  If you’ve never had a panic attack, the concept of agoraphobia (or the fear to leave your house) probably sounds totally irrational.

However, for people with panic disorder, its an unfortunate way of life.  You become so fearful that another panic attack will happen in a place where you’ll either make a fool out of yourself or can’t get help, that you simply don’t leave the house until it passes.

The best way to describe it is 24/7 stage fright.  The minute you step out the front door, your knees go weak, your head spins, you get a knot in your stomach and feel as though you will physically drop dead if you go one step further.

Not only is this inconvenient, but its extremely frustrating and depressing as your reminded of all the stuff you could be/do if you weren’t dealing with panic disorder and the stigma of “mental illness”.

Thank God I have a wonderful husband and family that pampered the crap out of me until I was somewhat back on my feet.  I treated myself as though I had the flu all month long, getting plenty of rest and not pushing myself beyond what I was capable of for that day.

I also tried to be patient with myself, as I was dealing with a lethal combination of post-pregnancy hormones and grief- which probably made things 100 times worse than normal.

Likewise, I decided to give anxiety medication another shot,  which i’m sure is helping too.  I’m trying Lexapro for the first time ever and there’s always my good friend and confidant, Xanax.

I’ve gotten pretty serious with the spiritual side of this too, as I have refused to let fear stop me this past week and pressed through even on my worst days.  If the Bible is true (as I like to believe it is), then I have authority over this thing and fear has to get under my feet.  Its up to me, however, start walking in that authority and “do it afraid” until I’m able to finally beat this thing all together.

So at least things are looking up this week and I’ve been out-and-about,  but its been one rough month.  The pain of the miscarriage is finally starting to subside, but the experience took such a toll on my mind and emotions that i’ll be cleaning up the after effects for quite some time.

Comments 260 Comments »

Don’t worry- I am too.

I only have a self-hosted and customized blog for one reason and one reason alone, Bluehost (and a little help from my girl Amy at Taste Like Crazy Design on the Logo).

I don’t know a lick of CSS and can barely get my way through basic HTML- let alone navigate an FTP client, but Bluehost is a wordpress blog making machine for dummies.

Follow these easy steps and you’ll be on your way to having a cool, self-hosted blog (where you can use all the plugins in the world) in no time!

Step One: Register

The hardest part is signing up (but its only $6.95 a month- so well worth filling out the forms).  You’ll then have access to your control panel login.  Click here to go to the Bluehost site.

Step Two: Register or Transfer your Domain

You’ll need an address for the blog your’re about to make.  If you already own a URL, scroll down to “Transfer Domain” on your control panel and follow the prompts to complete the transfer.

If you don’t have a domain name yet, Click on “Register Domain” and pick the URL of your choice.

Step 3: Create a WordPress Blog using Fantastico De Luxe

Scroll down to the button that says “Fantastico De Luxe”.  After you click on it, you’ll come to a page with a list of platforms on the left hand side.  Choose “wordpress,” then click “new installation” from the next screen.

The following screen will give you a drop down box to choose which domain to use.  Pick your domain, designate a username and password and hit the “install wordpress button.”

Step 4: Make It Pretty

Now that your wordpress blog is installed, you can go back to Google and find a wordpress theme of your choice.  Download the theme, unzip the file and save it on your computer.

Once its saved, return to your control panel and click on “unlimited FTP”.  The left side of the FTP contains documents from your computer.  Browse through your files until you find the saved theme (you may have to click the theme folder to access the file you want to upload).

Once you’ve got it, click on the “public html” folder on the right side to select your domain name.  After you click on your domain name, click on the “wp-content” folder.  You should then see a folder that says “themes.”  Leave your browser over that selection so its highlighted.

Go back to the left side to your theme of choice.  Right click your mouse and choose “upload”.

Step 5: Activate Your Theme in WordPress and Blog Away!

By now you should have received an email with a link to your wordpress admin section and login details.  Follow the link and sign into wordpress.

At top of the menu, select “Design”, choose “Theme” and if you did it correctly, the your customized theme should be right there waiting for you.

Click on it, hit activate and you’re good to go!

All I can say is Thank God for Bluehost!

Comments 282 Comments »

What can I say….i’m quite crafty when I want to be 😉

Comments 216 Comments »

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